Sharing is a wonderful thing; my mother taught me how to do it quite nicely. I love to share desserts in particular. You have just finished a delightful meal out, you’re pleasantly satiated, but could use a little something sweet. Not an entire dessert course mind you, just a nibble. When could there be a more ideal time to share? But not everyone shares well. If you make the wrong decision, you could turn an ordinarily convivial dining experience into a catastrophic nightmare.

There is a fine line to be found in the art of sharing. It requires trial and error, many a meal leaving you either too full, or still wanting more, in order to find your own ideal sharing mate. Take for instance my sister, she is an ideal mate for me, we often want to share (an invaluable desire), and we want to share the same things. She might be such an ideal candidate because of a lesson learned from her own dining dilemma with a friend we’ll call Jake. They each had finished their own entrees, and when dessert came around they decided to split the creme brulee. When the custard arrived, both parties dug in, but while conversation drew to a lull (Jake not being the most interesting of individuals), my sister noticed that Jake was creating a divide in the brulee. Not simply a divide, a what will be forever known as– a wall of creme brulee. Jake, never wanting to blur the lines of platonic friendship, created a wall of cream, that remained untouched not wanting to contaminate the vessel of dessert with his salivary spoon. To this I say, as kind of a gesture, puh-leese! How anal-retentive can we be? Not a good sharer.

As fair and too clearly demarcated a sharing incident as Jake’s was, I have a friend who does not share– she hogs. A slice of cheesecake will arrive at the table from which we are both supposed to partake. My friend will descend on the slice, ravenous, like a hawk preys upon some innocent rodent, scurrying about in a field. In a matter of moments, the entire morsel of cake is devoured, garnish of whipped topping licked clean, and I have only eaten two bites. Speed is an extremely important element to sharing. It just won’t work if a scarf-er is paired with a savor-er.

So let me plead with all of the parents with young children out there; we’re all told how it is important to share with our neighbors, but please, you simply must also show your children the nuances of sharing. Not to be anal, there should be a sort of laissez-faire attitude to sharing. The speed, pace yourself– too fast, and the child will end up with a stomach ache and a gluttonous reputation, too slow– and the child will end up with nothing at all. Sometimes even the smallest of life’s details can end up leaving lasting scars.