I was a latch-key kid. But please, don’t feel sorry for me– I loved the time alone. There was something so settling about a quiet house to come to, with no one pestering me about schoolwork that had yet to be completed. The school bus would drop me off just houses away from where I lived, and I would trudge home, appropriately exhausted. After dumping all of my books, and stacks of handouts, in a basket near the front door, I would make a bee-line for the pantry.
If the pantry were the refrigerator, surely my mother would have reprimanded me for standing in front, letting all of the cold air out. I gazed at the various packages of food for what seemed like hours. Sometimes I would have some cereal, a replay of my morning meal. At times a can of soup would tempt me. But if I spied a red box, emblazoned with the kind of mispellings that only snack foods, motels and diners can get away with, you could almost bet that a handful of Cheez-Its would become my treat du jour.
Who doesn’t love a Cheez-It? They’re salty, crispy, and well, cheese-y, and they were the snack cracker of my youth. I would plunge my little hand into that box, retrieving a handful of unnaturally orange squares just calling out to be eaten. The technicolor crumbs would settle on my fingers as I repeated this action until I had consumed enough to satiate my hunger, yet not enough to spoil my appetite for dinner.
When I saw this recipe for Parmesan Cream Crackers a few weeks back in the New York Times, and read of Mark Bittman’s childhood affection for Cheez-Its, I knew that this would be just the perfect late afternoon snack. I followed the recipe closely, and while rolling out the dough, thought to myself, “Crackers seem like such a snap, why hadn’t I made them before?” I baked them up, and Bittman’s cheese crackers were simply– meh. There was no crackle, no flakiness, no crisp texture, nothing of what I’m longing for in a snack. But they did taste cheesy, and salty– two definite pluses. The recipe just needed to be toyed with. So back to the kitchen I went.
What I came up with is in essence the same list of ingredients, just a different handling of the dough. The original recipe was similar to your basic pie crust, but in order to make a crisp, flat, cracker-like texture, the dough needed to be docked several times before baking. I rolled out the dough quite thin (1/8 inch thickness), and before scoring to make square cracker shapes, I took a fork, and poked the surface of the dough several (40-50) times. By docking, air is released from the dough in the baking process, making a thinner, flatter cracker.
The finished product was divine– crispy yet chewy, with just the right amount of salt, and a distinctly homemade character. I almost didn’t miss my Cheez-Its at all.
Homemade Cheese Crackers
loosely adapted from Mark Bittman
1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup grated cheese (I used sharp cheddar, but I imagine any strong flavored, hard cheese such as, gruyere would be excellent)
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/4 cup half-and-half, or light cream, more if needed
Coarsely ground black pepper
Put flour, salt, cheese, and butter into the bowl of a food processor, and pulse to combine. Add the cream, and let machine run until the mixture comes together yet is not sticky.
Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface until 1/8 inch thick, using additional flour if necessary. Transfer dough to a parchment or Silpat lined baking sheet. With a fork, poke dough randomly, several (40-50) times. Score the dough to obtain 1-inch square cracker shapes. Sprinkle with pepper.
Bake at 400 degrees, for 17-20 minutes, or until lightly browned. Remove from oven, cool, and break into cracker shapes.
i am gonna have to try these
cheezits are my achilles heel
seriously??!! how did i miss bittman’s article? cheez-its are my favorite food. these days i try not to buy ANY processed foods anymore (making my own bread and everything), but cheez-its are still my occasional splurge. i’m scared to try this recipe, will it be so good i’ll finally give up that orange and red box?? thanks for sharing
Nirvana reference…spotted!
I tried Bittman’s recipe and had the same result. I just figured that they needed to be rolled thinner.
Now I will have to try your recipe. Yum!
ooooo–i've always wanted to try and make homemade crackers!
Making these tonight for a party …
by the way, you nailed it with the tip on docking or poking holes in the crackers.